DOCUMENTATION THAT I EXIST

The feeling of being invisible sometimes hurts,
Inner voices scream at the world,
Only to be blocked by walls of silence,
The feeling of being treated like garbage sometimes hurts,
I try to put out good karma in the universe,
Inner voices scream at the world,
Only to be deleted by those who crush dreams,
I just wanna feel alive,
My inner visions,
Fuel my inner vibes,
Battling the forces of evil,
Just to tell the world my name,
When my life is over,
Will they remember the song I sung for you,
Or the soulful masterpieces I painted,
The feeling of not existing sometimes hurts,
Inner voices scream at a world that isn't listening,
While my cries in the dark go unheard,
Does my life have meaning,
I am a cultural substance,
Demanding my existence be respected,
My umi says,
Shine your light on the world,
So the tattoo on my heart reads "The Mighty I Am".

("JODISM: Documentation That I Exist" opens Friday March 7th, 2009 at 6 pm as part of The Creative Arts Guild's First Friday event.)

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infinite JODISM

As the old folks say, feels like I need to be sendin up timber. I had breakfast this morning. My favorite, a fresh bag of barbeque pork rinds and a glass of ice cold grape kool aid. I got up this morning realizing that my birthday is Wednesday and I have alot to be thankful for. My free spirit and creative ora encourage me to move forward. The niggativity in my community and space is easier to deal with. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. In my personal life, I finally decided to put it in the Most High's hands. I was thinking back to last year at this time. I said I wanted to be in a committed relationship by my next birthday. It aint even close to happening and that is the only thing I keep beating myself up for. But yo, I do enjoy the lure of being an educated, single black man with no responsibilities except me. It is a historical year. Big moves are fixin to be made! I know for a fact that 2009 is gonna be my year. When I make it to Oprah, I'll have to keep my shout-out list short!

I PASSED!

In the past, I had a wife in my corner to support me and encourage me when things got dicey. Now we are divorced and in different places. It's been almost 2 years. I am my only form of a support system right now and this morning I thought I missed her or missed her being in my corner. Then I started thinkin about how far I have come. From trying to commit suicide to depression to getting a new job to gettin a new ride and a new crib. I have passed some hard tests in life so far and this little test for certification can't scared me. Today, I took the first test for my job training certification in Tifton,GA. I was lounging last night tryin to get with this honey in the lobby but she kept talkin about studying. I wanted to study also. I am a man and I think like a man! I can't help it. Anyway, I went to my room to watch the wake forest/clemson game and chatted on the phone with a new friend to about 3 in the morning. She is cool and really down to earth. I got up this morning realizing that I had messed around and wasted my thursday night study time. We took the test today in the training course and I ended up making a 84. I passed the test and got the first part of my certification for this job. I am happy and ready to get drunk. The only thing is that I have to go back to tifton next week for more training all the way til november 7. Yo, I still get bad vibes sometimes but in the long run, I think my life is gonna stay on this current track to improving and I am gonna be alright. The biggest test here was dealing with emotions from my divorce and ex-wife. I am over her and have moved on. I feel I passed that test. I'm stronger.

TeMika Grooms(yall check her out)

Temika Grooms is a cool sista that does alot. She is active in the arts community and I have known her a couple of years now. She is mad cool cause she always speaks and treats folks warmly. She is a visual artist, wife, full-time angel and mother doing good things. She is working on a book as a illustrator and also helps run a A-AFTA( African Americans For The Arts. If yall wanna find out more about Temika, just scroll down and click on my muse arts in my contributors section. She is also in my top 32 on my myspace page. Other than that, I had to drive back down to tifton,ga today to finish some training for my job. Yall be easy!

a new week/back to work

My blog entry today is short and to the point.I have been in chill mode since thursday. I was late for work this morning. I over slept and didn't wanna get up. I need to wash clothes and clean up my crib. I got some pieces I need to work on. I got some training to finish at work. On the wigflip, I did get a bite off one of the bait lines I threw out and she is pretty. Also, I heard the jazmine sullivan album comes out on tuesday. I may break outta chill mode by wednesday or thursday. Whatever the case, I'm chillin!

Mad Crazy Week/Stress/Say no to drugs/College football

Finally, it is friday! I had to deal with some wackness this week. The end to another crazy week. Tonight, my alma mater The Catamounts of Dalton High School will take on the South Paulding County somebodies. Dalton High School footabll is currently on a 48 straight year winning seasons streak. On tomorrow, The Ohio State Buckeyes take on USC. My buckeyes were dropped in the polls from #3 to #5 and now we got something to prove. I predict it will be a close game. In college football, it is good to lose early in the season so by bowl time, things would've changed. Just look at 2 loss LSU last year winning the BCS championship. Anyway, hopefully I am getting a new cd player in my ride on Monday or Tuesday of next week. I am hoping overall next week starts out good. The next couple of weeks in general are gonna be busy. I watched the office, my name is earl and 30 rock last night and laughed alot. Those are 3 of my favorite shows especially the office and my name is earl. Sometimes, stress, drama and niggativity can drive a person to drinking and smoking crack. I am stronger than that!

Lost in Translation

I aint the one to put my business on front street. I was on a blog today and saw a fly example of black love still existing in current times. It was pictures of this sista and some of her girls hanging out in Oakland. Too make a long story short, a brotha showed up with some flowers, family members and surprised his lady and proposed on the spot causing 11 black woman to start screaming and gettin loud. The media and mainstream america have portrayed us as animals, prison fillers, cowards as fathers, non-promise keepers, thugs and irresponsible beings not capable of true committment to anything or anyone. Looking at this particular blog entry on this sistas site made me think about my own experience. I was once married to a beautiful, beautiful black woman. She was my 5th rib and part of my backbone that gave me the strenght to go out into the world everyday and do battle standing alittle stronger and taller with my head to the sky. We hooked up during the summer of 1996. We were married in 1998 and made it to 2007 before outside interference on her part(adultery or networking as she called it) took it's toll. Looking at those pictures on that sistas blog sling shotted me to the present. Being single after being off the market for all those years is scary even as a man. Things have changed and black women are more self centered and financially ego driven while solely focusing on the exterior instead of the interior. Trust me, I know! Sometimes it is a bad experience when you got alot of love to offer and give but the worthy prospects seem to be checking for someone else. In my case, I have been getting the good friend label. I know alot of females who are CEO's,professional baby mamas, lawyers, social workers, artists, singers, stylists,professional whores, students,poets,etc and some of them consider me their brother or a close friend. I get called when the nucka they with is trippin, dogging them out or they just need somebody to talk too. It is frustrating to a point cause they complain about aint no good brothas left when they aint really lookin. It is time for us to embrace CHANGE. Sistas need to give all brothas a fair chance. Anyway, it is inspiring to be able to see that black love still exist and is possible in this day and age. Black love and black power are pure forms of positive energy we need in our life. I pray it is possible for me again oneday.

THE WHIP

I thank the most high for the blessings and learning experiences I have gotten so far this year. I got up early this morning and went to the dealership to pick up my ride. I got a 2002 Ford Escape. It is not the 300 I wanted but it will do for now. It aint as bad on gas as the V-8 explorer I had and it still has enough space for me and my work. I needed another ride to get to point A to point B. It is liberating sometimes when you don't have to ask people who front for a GODDAMN THING! Anyway, I put in this CD to ride out on and the song that came on was Big Daddy Kane's "Aint No Half Steppin". I got some other bills to take care of and still settle in the new gig. Then I feel that everythang should ease up alittle as far as stress and bullshit. The crazy thing is that I had a family member trip on me this weekend adding to more family drama. This time I didn't let it get to me. I did good and just brushed it off like whatever. I am learning how to deal with family drama better now by totally focusing on JODY and solely what makes JODY happy. I am a single man with no kids so I only have myself to take care of and that is my #1 mission. I know there are ill will wishers among my circle who don't want me to get ahead. I am sorry to inform them that I intend to keep on keepin on and they can kiss my entire royal black ass. Don't take my words out of context, I love everybody! I can't wait til next week, I heard that new MADLIB album is coming out. Yall stay jazzy!

start of a new week

yo, it is raining today and gloomy. I am confident the rest of the week will not be as bummed. I got the new Al Green cd and I am gonna check it out this evening. Next week at this time, football season will have officially started and everythang should be dandy!

It's Friday!

It is friday and I am glad. Didn't get to blog yesterday cause the job is time consuming. I got this big ole book of state rules and procedures to learn and gotta go thru hella training. I have just completed my first week of the new gig. I have learned alot about state laws and family stuff this week. I think I am gonna be able to do this job. It is alot of paper work and detailed. I got to sit in court this week during my training and watch some cases. I also got to sit in on some panel reviews for a few cases and a custody hearing. It is all eye opening. I think I wore too much nag champa body oil today. Anyway, I will be working with the HOPE GROUP on saturday for the downtown festival. I hope it doesn't rain and people show up and support us.

Everythang is Everythang!

They say being honesty is the best policy. Sometimes I feel like the world is mine. Sometimes I feel like shit. I realized that some of my stress is self found and the other 75% comes from everyday situations and ill will wishers. As I said earlier, life can throw curve balls sometimes we don't expect. During my lunch break today, I had a flat tire on my way to take a drug test. I got 5 bucks to my name until payday and already ridin on fumes. Since starting this new job, it seems like my plate has gotten crowded and my time is compacted. I got alot of things to do like set up with the H.O.P.E. Group at the downtown festival this weekend and sell food to raise money for our organization. I am gonna help promote a fish fry fundraiser for my cousin. I also gotta work on completing training at work and got a million things to learn to get certified. I also got family drama to deal with. I got a couple of people hollering at me about some music stuff. I got to get ready for my sista-n-laws big party on september 6. I also gotta get a oil change ASAP. Now I gotta find a good spare tire. On top of all that, I volunteered to assist the creative arts guild crew with the upcoming fall arts festival. In a way, I am glad I have stayed busy doing something. If everythang goes according to my new plan B, this labor day weekend is gonna be on and I will be poplockin like Re-Run instead of lookin crazy like Fred.

A thin line between love and paint!

Graf Heads Unite Worldwide to Get up and Get Down! S.A.M.O. Lives! DONDI rock, rock on! Shout out to Fab 5 Freddy. Graf is apart of true hip hop culture. I paint on canvas and I've painted on walls beautifying scenery. I have tagged the freights, did train spotting and hung out at the writer's bench. It is one of the original elements. In the words of Big Jus "LUNE TNS", this is for those standing behind the fence and for those starting to climb.

I also wanna shout out to CANE UNIVERSIAL for giving me my first opportunity to get get up on a throw up at the civic yard when we did a video for Peas In The Pod. That was the first time I met Ill Jabril and we all have been cool ever since. The next night we were out loungin, I met MEGA, WON and the world famous MUTANT aka DJ wildlife. Before then, I had only used spraypaint for murals/paintings. I had always did graf tags in my blackbook. This was my first time doing a piece at the world famous civic yard in the A.T.L. Ill Jabril let me borrow this book on Dondi White and I was blown away. I had already seen the movie "Wild Stlye". I copped the movies "Bomb the System" and "Style Wars" from Criminal Records in little 5 points. I started mixing graf into my paintings and sculptures. I started out tryin to mimic new york writers until I developed my own style that I was comfortable with. As far as true hip hop and the elements, I was addicted. I started boosting tips and sharpies just to say I did it. Now I have gotten older and wiser. I am in a new setting and fixin to start gettin up. I got a new tag name and I am on some "catch me if you can shit". PEACE! Shout out to BIG JUS "LUNE TNS", THE ARTIFACTS, JAZ(aca alumni), CRISIS, TOTEM, HENSE,SEVER, DOSE, THE UAA CREW, GSK CREW and THE TATS CREW.

The Art of Ice Grillin Pt.3(Shonuff)

I have been working on another ice grill pose. This one is influenced by the 80's. I had to go old school. Yall remember this cat. This is Shonuff aka The Shogun of Harlem from the berry gordy 1985 movie "The Last Dragon". The dude that played shonuff had a mean ice grill. He also played sonia's boyfriend on a episode of "227". This movie is a classic and starred Tai mak and Vanity along with SugarHill Gang's Master Gee's little brother Leo O'Brien who played richie. Yall remember when he was tied up and he breakdanced his way out of the ropes to go save Vanity. That was ill. I have had a chance to use this shonuff ice grill while standing in line at the post office. This lady was mean muggin me cause I took a parking spot from her outside. I could feel her laser eyes burning the back of my head so I turned around and ice grilled her. I had to think quick so I pulled out the shonuff ice grill pose. I wish I would have had the same outfit he had on in the movie. As I ice grilled her, I wanted to take a line from the movie and ask, "Whose the master?", but I felt that would have been too intimidating so I let up a little and turned back around. The lady got out of line and I felt the victory was all mine. I got my stamps, put the letters in the drop box and walked out to my truck. This lady had dumped what looked like a milkshake on the hood and threw some trash under the truck to make it look like I was extreme littering. Regardless, I will continue to practice the shonuff ice grill pose. Don't be suprised if you see me at Apache Cafe in the crowd with some shonuff lokes on and ice grillin. If yall get a chance, go and rent the movie "The Last Dragon". The 80's are coming back and I been 2 steps ahead years ago. Yall stay fresh!

A New Start

This coming monday, I will be officially starting a new job. It is a state job and the pay is alright. When I applied for the job, the pay listed was what I really wanted. I discovered that the pay grade I am starting out at is towards the bottom and I have to work my way up to top pay. It was sorta a bummer but I am thankful I got the job and working in a different field. I had been working at temp agencies and doing some teaching on the side while doing my art thang. Now I can relax alittle bit and focus on this current job and making it stable. I had made some big plans with the pay I thought I was gonna get. I was gonna move into this loft and get me a 300. I already went and picked it out. I toured the loft and went and looked at some new furniture. I figured since I am a single man with no kids I can do this since I only have me to worry about. I also went and checked out some flat screens since college football starts in 2 weeks. But, I gotta put some of that stuff on hold until I settle into this new job. My cousin opened her hair salon in union city and it is fly. She wants to get some of my salon art and sculptures to put in her salon. My cousin bought 10 pieces of art from me last November and told a bunch of her clients. The name of her salon is Naturally Gifted Hair Salon and it is located in union city across the street from Pep Boys off in the cut. Yall stop by and check her out and please support black owned businesses. Back to the subject, I am thankful for this job, the income and the stability. I am still gonna work on moving back to atlanta within the next 6-8 months. I've did my time in dalton and gotten over my divorce. Now I am recharged, reborn and ready to get back in the loop in atlanta. Oh snap, college football season is 2 weeks away. I may have to quit this job if it messes with the season. During the months of late august to bowl season in january, I am a college football junkie. I have been known to ice grill folks down who distrub me when a game is on especially if it is my OHIO STATE BUCKEYES. Yall stay tuned!

The Art of Ice Grillin Pt.2

If yall live in atlanta and have rode MARTA, yall know it can be an adventure in it self. This cat at 5 points a couple of years ago ice grilled me down cause I would not give him some change. At the time, I was already hurtin cause my truck was tore up and I was using public transpo. I was mad that morning and I gave him a ice grill back. This is the ice grill pose I gave him back. It was early in the morning and I was pissed already. I called this the " I just woke up/WTF" ice grill pose. In breaking news, I recently got a challenge for a Ice Grill Stare Down from RAW. With the ice grill poses I have now, I am equipped to battle anybody, women included. I have the classic hood ice grill, I have the popular "you broke in line" ice grill and the super poison prison ice grill. I am working on mastering the Charlie Murphy ice grill he used in the movie "CB4" as gusto. When I get that pose down packed, I will call it the gusto ice grill in honor of Charlie Murphy. This is another ice grill pose I am working on. The picture features a new ice grill from my resume. This one is used in final rounds to throw my opponent off and confuse them. I call this my "I just woke up/WTF" ice grill. I haven't mastered it yet. I have used it a couple of times. I used it on this kid at the grocery store who tried to take the last slim jim. I had to think fast as to which I grill I should use. The funny thing is, this kid had a ice grill himself and it threw me for a loop. I wasn't expecting it. When I look up, his ghetto mama had the classic ice grill pose and the hand on the hip. I was out numbered and out grilled on a saturday morning. So I have been practicing the "I just woke up/WTF" ice grill. Yall give me some feed back. Should I battle with this ice grill pose or should I use the other one? When I aint chasing beautiful women, painting or riding in my Bentley, I am hard at work mastering THE ART OF ICE GRILLIN.

peace

The Art of Ice Grillin Pt.1

Ice Cube is known worldwide for his ice grill pose with the jheri curl on the cover of his Amerikkka's Most Wanted album back in the day. There are some other cats who have mastered the art of ice grillin too like DMX, Immortal Technique, Ghostface Killah, M1 from Dead Prez and Charlie Murphy. Charlie Murphy is ill with it cause he has been known to scare the shit out of people with his classic prison ice grill technique. People ask me why I look so mean some times. I aint mad or angry. Sometimes I am just trying to master the art of ice grillin. You gotta have a mean mugshot pose for everyday use in the hood. Don't I look intimidating? This is one of my most famous ice grillin poses. I got a couple more in my arsenal I am working on mastering. Someday, I wanna have a ice grillin contest against cube. We will battle 3 rounds and winner takes the title of master ice griller. So if you see me at the post office or snapping into a slim jim at a redlight, be prepared cause I might just ice grill you like I am filming a rap video. I aint mad or angry or looking mean for no purpose, I am practicing the art of ice grillin. Don't get too close or you might get grilled! It is grill or be grilled son!What!

peace

Hazel Eyes Lady Metroya and Radical Soul Kelsy Davis

While living in Atlanta since fall 1994, I have had many opportunities to meet good people regardless of their status in society. I have met big superstars and hung out with nobodies. I have an easy going personality and I try to be friends with everyone. As yall know, atlanta is full of inflated egos, cristal sippers, move fakers, wanna-be players, hoes, ghetto hoes, uppidity negroes, conscious cats, neo soulers and a few down to earth people. I have been blessed with the opportunity to meet and be friends with 2 of atlanta's most real people. First, Lady Metroya runs hazeleyes.com and she is a singer, beautiful sista, writer, manager, booking agent, music industry consultant, event planner, part time home girl, 91.9 wclk radio host and full time angel. She is in the know around town and use to put on this event called strawberry sundaze at Endenu. I sent Metroya a artist package in relation to showing some of my work at her event and she was very professional. The event had sadly run it's course and was being dissolved but she did keep in touch and said she would keep me in mind for future events. Metroya also can be heard on the radio on saturdays at 91.9 wclk if my memory serves me correctly. I took this picture of her and kelsy at live poets society wingman Cocktails REEL Talk event out in stone mountain. Metroya has a smile that will light up alaska during the winter solstice and she always smells good. On top of all that, she is soulfully sexy and those eyes are priceless jewels. Every time I see her, she always speaks and gives a hug. She is a good example of a cool person. If yall hear about a hazel eyes event or Metroya performing, yall please show some love to this sista. Check out her myspace page or www.hazeleyez.com

Kelsy Davis and The Radical Soul is a great band. This brotha gets down during his performances. I got to be apart of a event put on by live poets society frontman Abyss up at dave and busters. If yall haven't seen Kelsy perform his hit "slave to the rhythm" live, then yall aint living right. This brotha is a big name dude and he treated everybody that night with respect. He went around the audience shaking hands and thanking people for coming out. He came to the back where me and some other folks were set up selling our goods and did the same. I got a chance to witness kelsy and some other folks perform at a spot over by georgia tech. He tore it down and then told the crowd he was leaving for L.A. Every time I see kelsy round town, he speaks and shows that he is a cool person. It is hard to find real people around atlanta who aint souped or out for the fame. Kelsy Davis performs on the regular at Apache Cafe with special guest Abyss. If yall get a chance, please go and check these brothers out. Check out their myspace pages and buy 5 copies of their albums each. It is worth it.

We need to continue to support people like Metroya and Kelsy. They are doing their thing and sharing their gifts with us while remaining grounded.

peace

Sonia and the natural crew/Birmingham's Best!

This is a picture of sonia and her staff at changes natural hair care salon. Sonia has a big place in birmingham and she recently opened a spot in atlanta over by greenbriar. It didn't work out how she expected. I met sonia at a event I did in birmingham called R.I.S.E. It was put on by dj rahdu and the soul rebels collective. Sonia purchased a couple pieces of my work. She then called me later to get some customized work and also had some of her staff buy some work. It is cool cause I didn't have to pull teeth or deal with any bull while dealing with sonia. She is a cool sista. I am thankful for her showing interest in my work and it really did alot for my confidence. Also, sonia puts on events at her mega salon in birmingham. I have been down there a couple of times and really enjoyed myself. You can see pictures of me, the soul rebels collective, sonia, julie dexter, anthony david, rueben studdard and more at www.urbanham.com in the events section of the photo gallery. Go there and click on any of the events labeled "R.I.S.E.". Sonia, dj rahdu, tommy, nee nah and everybody down there are really soulful and cool people. If yall are ever in birmingham, check out changes natural hair salon. Please support black businesses!

Some good news

Yo, I have been applying for mad crazy jobs. I want to upgrade from "still broke" to "struggling" status. I got some minutes for my phone last night. I called a few people to see what's happenin. I drank a 40 of miller lite and didn't get buzzed. I worked on a skateboard for an upcoming show this saturday at the North Georgia Trade Center. I got up this money and got a call from one of the places I applied for employment at. I have a interview on wednesday at the dfacs office. This job is something I know I can do and the pay is what I have been praying for. It is a change from from what I been doing. It is a big change from what I wanna do but I can't be choosy. I am confident that I will do good tomorrow. I am sitting here typing this and it feels like I am talking to myself. I am cool jody and I need to get some blog friends. I am internally wishing myself some good luck on this interview. Go cool jody Go!